WHAT IS RESILIENCE?

The simplest way to define resilience is the ability to "bounce back" from life 's difficulties - to adapt well in the face of adversity or significant sources of stress, such as family and relationship issues, major health problems or financial hardships.

Experts call the ability to cope with life 's difficulties a "capacity for resilience." Everyone has stored different amounts, or reserves, of resilience to use when necessary.

An individual 's capacity for resilience varies, depending on background and life experiences. Fortunately, no one is stuck with the same stories of resilience their whole life. Everyone - including you - can become more resilient through learning and practice.

How much resilience do you need? That depends on what 's going on in your life. If you are experiencing relatively few or minor stressors, you probably can keep up with the "speed of change" with relatively small reserves of resilience. But if you 're facing multiple or major stressors

- such as divorce or job loss - you will probably become overwhelmed unless you have an adequate capacity for resilience.

WHAT DOES RESILIENCE LOOK LIKE?

As noted, everyone can become more resilient through learning and practice. You can start by learning that resilient people possess five key characteristics, or qualities:

• ● Positive
• ● Focused
• ● Flexible
• ● Organized
• ● Proactive.

Let 's look more closely at these characteristics.

Positive people understand the dangers and threats in change, but are not overwhelmed by them. They are able to compartmentalize stress - keep it separate from other parts of their lives - so it doesn 't disrupt their lives. Positive people are practical and realistic, but at the same time can "reframe" a changing situation - view it in a more favorable light that allows for action and growth. As noted in the online course, positive people also:

• ● Maintain a sense of humor.
• ● Attend to their overall well-being (take care of their physical and emotional health).
• ● "Lead" with empathy - put themselves in others ' shoes.

Focused people determine where they are headed and stick to their goals so barriers along the way do not become insurmountable. They give blocks or obstacles sufficient attention, but not so much that they fail to reach their goals. As noted in the online course, focused people also:

• ● Develop a clear vision of what they hope to achieve.
• ● Remain true to their core values.

Flexible people are open to different options when faced with uncertainty. They recognize their personal strengths and weaknesses; they know when to accept internal and external limits. In short, flexible people know how to adapt to changing situations and conditions. As noted in the online course, flexible people also:

• ● Challenge, and when necessary, modify personal assumptions or frames of reference.
• ● Acknowledge that there are a number of right ways to accomplish important goals.

Organized people develop structured approaches to managing ambiguity (uncertainty). They set goals and priorities, but when necessary, renegotiate them during change. Organized people recognize when to ask others for help. As noted in the online course, organized people also take the lead in clarifying roles when working with others in a group or organization. Proactive people work with change rather than fight it. They draw important lessons from change so they can use their experience and apply their newfound knowledge to future, similar situations. They also use internal and external resources to cope with change. And, like positive people, proactive people know how to reframe a changing situation to see its opportunities - and so achieve productive results. As noted in the online course, proactive people also are willing to take calculated risks to reach goals.

HOW DO PEOPLE DEMONSTRATE RESILIENCE?

We just talked about five key characteristics of resilience. Now let 's look at how people demonstrate resilience in the course of dealing with change.

How would people with low resilience think or behave in the face of significant change? How would people with high resilience think or behave in the same situation? People demonstrate resilience on a continuum, or sequence, as illustrated below - with low resilience to the far left and high resilience to the far right.

Low Resilience <————————————————————————————> High Resilience

Now let 's look at some examples of how people 's responses to change differ when they have low resilience and high resilience. The following tables include responses categorized under each of the five characteristics of resilience. Remember: Low-resilience responses are on the left and high-resilience responses on the right.

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HOW DO I BECOME MORE RESILIENT?

We have defined resilience and described what it looks like in people. Now you 're probably asking,

"How do I become more resilient?" As noted, building resilience involves learning and practice. You need to take what you have learned and apply it to your own life until new behaviors, thoughts and actions become habits. That 's where practice comes in.

You also need to develop a personal strategy, or plan, for becoming more resilient. You can get help on developing a strategy by reading "The Road to Resilience" on the American Psychological Association website at http://www.apa.org/helpcenter/road-resilience.aspx#. We strongly urge you to review that website, especially the "10 ways to build resilience." They include:

• ● Make connections with others.
• ● Avoid seeing crises as insurmountable problems.
• ● Accept that change is part of living.
• ● Move toward your goals.
• ● Take decisive actions.
• ● Look for opportunities for self discovery.
• ● Nurture a positive view of yourself.
• ● Keep things in perspective.
• ● Maintain a hopeful outlook.
• ● Take care of yourself.
• ● Try additional ways of strengthening resilience, such as keeping a journal or other forms of reflection such as meditation or prayer.

You might want to write down your personal strategy - including goals and actions to reach them.

Make your strategy (or plan) specific to the changes and challenges you 're facing in your life, and consider the five characteristics of resilience, too.

For example, let 's say you 're dealing with sudden job loss. Be intentional about viewing the problem as a highly resilient person who is positive, focused, flexible, organized and proactive would. And start acting like that person as you cope with issues related to your job loss every day.